Will Always Be There

I believe ieqa has already posted what i wanted to say in the previous blog, in a long message i sent to her. For those of you reading this, you would have already guessed why, or understood why we had to go separate ways. Any close friends or relatives of atiqah, please.. take care of her.. she needs all of you, more than u ever know. and though i will won't be there like i used to be, i will still always be there for her, as her bestest friend... dear readers, my final message, or song: "when all of the stars, are fading away, juz try not to worry, you'll see them some day, juz take what you need, and be on your way - and stop crying your heart out..." (Oasis- Stop crying your heart out) Move on with life people.. Rock on!

after 24 hours..

24 jam yang menyeksa jiwa sudahpun berlalu..kami berpisah secara baik..tapi saya belum fully recovered daripada kesedihan semalam..saya bagi diri saya masa lagi 24 jam..saya mesti bangun semula dalam masa 48jam..saya tak boleh terus lemah macam ni. pada saat keluarga dan sahabat-sahabat tiada di sisi,saya merasa kesunyian yang amat sangat..niny,terima kasih temankan semalam..farhana,thanks for your call..

ini lagu yang tak sempat saya forwardkan pd aaron minggu lepas.




selain itu, saya juga nak mengimbas semula lagu-lagu kenangan kami..












lagu ini pernah saya nyanyikan semasa kami jadi mc majlis sambutan hari guru tahun lepas:
















lagu yang kami nyanyikan dalam hati pada 3 jun 2009..



and..if im not mistaken,this is the very first song that i dedicated to him..










akhir sekali..inilah rasanya lagu untuk saya sekarang ni..







~i'll remember these songs forever~


luahan hati,
nur atiqah binti abdul jalil
.....................................................................................

the end of a love story

THOUGHT OF THE DAY :

WHATEVER DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER

-Aaron See Cai Jun-

Salam buat semua..
Saya nak menulis sesuatu yang saya kira sebagai post terakhir saya di blog ini. Saya cuma mahu mengenang saat-saat ini,itu saja.Gonna miss this blog...

Sekali lagi sebuah catatan duka mengisi lipatan sejarah hidup saya.

29/8/2009

1:59 p.m
" I think it's time we go our separate ways."


2:05 p.m
"I am sorry. So sorry. I love u. I never regretted da times we spent together. I treasured them so much. U gave me a year I will remember forever. N u are someone special in my life. I really do love u. N im sorry it has to end like this."

2:08 p.m
"We're not really heading da same direction. In life. N i think u shud focus on your studies."

then, we were on the phone for about 9 minutes and 29 seconds...i heard each and every word he said and began sobbing uncontrollably..

2.50p.m
"Thank u for everything atiqah. I will still always be there for u. I want to be your friend."

3:16p.m
"Thank u so much for understanding. Thank u. Hey, cheer up. Life goes on."

3:26p.m
"U still are and always be da no.1 gf. I mean that. Da cert is genuine."

7:15p.m
"Ieqa, i hope u're feeling better. In this msg, i dont wish to make u sad again. I juz wana say sumtin. I loved u so much,n if things in our lives were a little different,i will marry u and look after u forever, hav kids n grandkids. Grow old together. But since there are things we juz cant change,we have to get up and move on,don't we. I apologise a million times n a million times again if i was too abrupt in bringing our relationship to a sudden end. But i realise da longer we go on, da more we love each other,da harder it will be to let go. U're smart, strong n tough. n it was an honour because u allowed me into ur life n shared lasting memories . u can delete our fp (fotopages), our bs (blogspot) if u feel like forgetting everything, but i wud like it if u keep it, so that there will be a piece of history in our lives. we will carry on living our separate lives,we have to. But i will forever remain your friend. If u will never fogive me for today,i totally understand. But i don't mind,im still ur friend,best friend.N no differences can ever change that. Ieqa, u changed my life. But now, move on, find someone better than me, n live ur life to the fullest. U have my blessings in whtaever u do. Msg me or call me anytime if u need a friend to talk to. I'll be there, i won't leave u.. U will be successful in life, i know. But, above all else, i want u to be happy. That's my wish,my prayer- that u be happy..Remember,i'll be here,now n forever.
Ur buddy aaron. =)))"

Saya tak tulis bahagian saya sebab saya tak mampu cakap apa-apa. Sampai saat ayat ni ditulis, sudah berapa kali air mata saya tumpah..Saya mohon kepada sesiapa yang baca tulisan ni,jangan adili sebelah pihak saja..Memang saya sedih,sedih yang teramat sangat. Tapi apalah yang saya mampu buat. Saya terima perpisahan ni dengan redha. Saya yakin kami boleh jadi kawan baik selepas ni. Mungkin itu lebih baik buat saya dan Aaron. Saya percaya ada hikmah di sebalik semua ni. It's not the end of the world, but it's a new beginning.

Terkilan juga rasanya sebab ada beberapa rancangan yang tak sempat kami jalankan. Tak sangka hubungan kami berakhir begitu cepat. Terasa macam baru semalam kami berkenalan. Rupanya jalan-jalan di KLCC 30 Julai lepas (sudah genap sebulan hari ni) merupakan kali terakhir kami keluar bersama.
Saya tak sempat masakkan nasi paprik kegemaran Aaron
Kami tak sempat buat ayam percik merah bersama (kami merancang sejak bulan ramadhan tahun lepas).
Saya tak sempat tengok design baju raya saya tahun ni hasil lakaran Aaron (kemungkinan besar baju raya saya tahun ni biasa-biasa saja. Mungkin saya beli saja memandangkan ibu saya agak sibuk dan kurang sihat).
Kami tak sempat pergi rowing bersama
Saya tak sempat nak bawa Aaron ke suatu tempat yang pernah saya janjikan bila saya dah boleh drive..
Yang paling menyedihkan, saya tak sempat forwardkan lagu khas untuk Aaron pada tarikh istimewa kami baru-baru ni (25/8/2009 -bulan ke-15 kami bersama ) disebabkan internet di kolej saya tersangatlah perlahan..


Manusia hanya mampu merancang, tapi Tuhan yang menentukan.

P/S : Dear all,I've created my own blog at http://iqa-jalil.blogspot.com. Kindly please visit my new blog as I'm seldom updating my accounts in myspace, friendster and facebook . Thank you.... Have a pleasant day!

Kembali ke Puncak...

Tinggal beberapa jam saja lagi sebelum saya pulang ke kampus..Kalau tiada aral, saya bertolak selepas maghrib atau lebih tepat lagi selepas berbuka puasa hari ni..Shah Alam bukannya jauh sangat..Seronok juga nak balik ke sana,tapi dalam yang sama terasa agak berat hati untuk tinggalkan rumah..Kenapa? hurmm...Ibu saya kurang sihat. Entahlah..doktor kata suspek H1N1. Tapi syukurlah dia masih mampu bekerja walaupun nampak kurang bermaya..Kepada sahabat-sahabat,mohon didoakan ibu saya segera pulih seperti sedia kala. Terima kasih..

Mulai esok saya akan menempuh bulan Ramadhan bersama-sama sahabat di Puncak Perdana. Yup,bersama keluarga di Puncak..Kasihan juga bila mengenangkan sahabat-sahabat yang terpaksa berpuasa tanpa keluarga. Sebenarnya saya tak sampai hati nak balik,tinggalkan mereka..terutamanya YATI dan NINY..Mereka berdua saja yang tak balik. Rumah yati di kedah,niny pula di kelantan..Tak berbaloi kalau nak balik cuma untuk dua malam kan..tapi bila ayah telefon saya hari Jumaat lepas,tanya saya balik atau tak..saya terus buat keputusan untuk balik. Dua malam pun jadilah,nampaknya keluarga lebih memerlukan saya. Ecece..

Okey,saya nak pergi berkemas sekarang. Walaupun balik rumah cuma dua malam,tapi barang-barang yang dibawa balik macam nak duduk rumah dua minggu! haishh..Ini la ayat yang ayah saya selalu cakap. Nak buat macam mana, anakmu ini seorang yang agak perfectionist. Semua mesti ada! hehe

Tiada lagi adegan rebut-rebut kerusi di meja makan..
Tiada lagi masak memasak untuk berbuka..
Tak dengar lagi suara Sarah merengek-rengek lapar..
Saya pun takkan ketuk pintu bilik ibu bapa saya,kejutkan mereka untuk bersahur..hurmm (bukan ke sepatutnya mereka yang kejutkan saya? haha,keluarga saya memang serba terbalik. )

Happy Fasting!

Happy Feasting!

...Salam...

Welcome Ramadhan =)

Ku mengharapkan Ramadhan

Kali ini penuh makna

Agar dapat kulalui

Dengan sempurna
Selangkah demi selangkah

Setahun sudah pun berlalu

Masa yang pantas berlalu

Hingga tak terasa ku berada

Di bulan Ramadhan semula
Puasa satu amalan

Sebagaimana yang diperintahNya

Moga dapat ku lenturkan

Nafsu yang selalu membelenggu diri

Tiada henti-henti
Tak ingin ku biarkan Ramadhan berlalu saja

Tuhan pimpinlah daku yang lemah

Mengharungi segalanya dengan sabar

Kita memohon pada Tuhan diberikan kekuatan

Ku merayu pada Tuhan diterima amalan
Selangkah demi selangkah…

Dengan rahmatMu oh Tuhanku…

Solvil et titus..

I’ve been in Puncak Perdana, Shah Alam for about two months. Throughout the period of time,I’ve experienced a lot ot of new things eventhough it may be quite challenging sometimes..Being a fast tracker,( does it really fast? It’s just a semester ahead from the normal track. Not much different,right?) my life is fully occupied with a hectic schedule. Some of the fast trackers may be disagree with me,but if you were in my shoes you’ll find that there are ‘a lot of simple but many things or some things yet complicated to be completed in a short period without being asked to’. Do you get what I mean?

Just imagine, a lecturer who never asked you to make notes for his or her subject,suddenly,one day he or she go around the class and check every students’ books and ask them for the notes? Most of the students will come up with cliché answers like “I didn’t do it”, “ I left my book at home”, “on the way”,and the worst is, they mixed up the notes of particular subject with another subject which means there are multiple subjects in one book..Well,this was what happened in my class yesterday. But I’m not a partner in that company..hehe..I’m not blowing my own trumphet but it is the fact. I can hardly understand a subject without preparing my own notes with my own handwriting.

That’s just an example. Actually, there are a lot of other example which I’m not going to reveal here. Praised be to God,I’ve experienced hostel life when I was in form 2. I learned a lot on how to stand on my own feet or in simpler words,to be INDEPENDENT.

Moreover, I believe that there are many people who are standing by me all the times. They are :

1) My beloved parents..(Abdul Jalil & Noorhadura)
They always support me in whatever I do. Since I moved to Shah Alam, they always give me a call to make sure everything is fine with me,and vice versa..especially my financial health..hehehe..thank you umie,ayah..I’ll never be able to pay my debt. Can we just consider it as bad debt? Hehehe..Just kidding =p

2) My darling lampangyau..(Aaron See)
Who is always supporting me mentally and emotionally. He’s always there when I need a shoulder to cry on. He sacrifices a lot for my sake. Thank you darling,you are my hero!! =D

3) My siblings..(Nurhaq, Arina & Sarah)
Yeahh..they give their support in term of giving me headache and nightmare when I’m at home which is actually a ‘motivation’ for me to stay here, in Puncak Perdana rather than going back home during weekends..Mission accomplished,isn’it? CONGRATULATIONS!!

4) My lecturers..(too many to name,hihi)
Thank you for guiding me when I lost in the maze =)

5) The Family of 1B09, Class of 1B, 1A and 1C..(you know who you are)
Thank you for all the earth-shaking jokes! My days are full of laughter since 2 month ago..=D

6) The Association of Fast Track Accounting Students (AFTAS)
I love to participate in all the events carried out by the association. Looking forward for the next event! Yeay!!

7) Last but not least..my ‘geng bas sekolah’ (the name given by Ubey a few days ago)
è Yati a.k.a Fairuz a.k.a Rizha
è Fain
è Farah
è Niny
è Naz
They are my backbones. My life would be miserable without them. They help me a lot in any way they can,anytime and anywhere..Thank you guys,only God can repay your kindness =)

I think that’s all for now,I’ve got nothing much to share with actually..By the way, I’ll update this blog very rarely because the confined and limited time caused me not to do so. Ohhh..my Mathematics lecturer,Sir Kamaruzzaman is going to announce the results of our first test today,and the results of economy test will be released tomorrow..I just hope for the best.

Briefly, this is how my last week of August 2009 will be look like :
- MGT(Business) Quiz – 20/8/2009
- Due date to hand in CTU assignment – 21/8/2009
- AIS(Comp) Quiz- 24/8/2009
- Test : AIS – 28/9/2009
- Test : Financial Accounting (FAR)- 29/9/2009

Wish me luck! All the best for those who are sitting for test or examination next week!
Bye bye….

~Wonderful Yesterday~

I had an awesome day yesterday! Finally, i met the day that i've waited for since a few weeks ago..huhu! I woke up with smile in the morning (which I rarely did before!). I knew it's gonna be a lovely day. Everything ran smoothly from the beginning until the end. Before going out,i asked a permission to go out from my mum (she was still in bed at that time) and she said "okey," WITHOUT opening her eyes! yeay,got da green light! I wore my shoes and stepped out of my house,walked happily to the bus stop. without having to wait for so long, i managed to get a cab and went to my former school-SMK DARUL EHSAN. oh my god! i miss this school so much! As soon as i reached the main gate,there came a flashback..This was the place where Aaron and I said "I love you" face to face, for the very first time. So sweet that i'll never forget it..=')


Okey,back to reality...I met fardy,anis hayati and cik shazlin at da school hall,we were chatting for a while as cikgu shazlin was busy with her photographer team (there was an event in the hall, like a briefing about something called 'SEGAK'. i don't know what it is all about and im not interested to know..hehehe). then, the three of us moved to the canteen,exchanged gossips,stories about our new great lives-hostels,studies,exams,lecturers,new friends,boyfriend..oops!! hehe...yeap,they did ask about you darling =D and one topic after another..girls,when they (i mean WE) start to talk to each other,it's gonna be an endless chatting =D. pavethtra and nelvida were also there during their recess.oh, i was YM-ing with anis hayati this afternoon,she told me that nadia and anis amalina also came yesterday after i've left. sorry guys,i couldn't meet both of you.When it was time for me to leave (i had another 'mission' to be accomplished that day),God knew how sad i was..As i hugged and kissed everyone of them,my tears almost shed,buuuut...i had to maintain my make-up for the next event. LOL!


Moving to next chapter,Aaron and I met in front of the bukumas and we shoot off to KLCC. we reached there around 11a.m, collected our movie tickets at the TGV cinema and went to BurgerKing for breakfast (the 2nd breakfast for me,hehe..i eat a lot lately and that's why i put on weight very easily.). Then,we watched a movie 'The Proposal' starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. i loved this movie! Here is the synopsis :

'When high-powered book editor Margaret faces deportation to her native Canada, the quick-thinking exec declares that she's actually engaged to her unsuspecting put-upon assistant Andrew, who she's tormented for years. He agrees to participate in the charade, but with a few conditions of his own. The unlikely couple heads to Alaska to meet his quirky family and the always-in-control city girl finds herself in one comedic fish-out-of-water situation after another. With an impromptu wedding in the works and an immigration official on their tails, Margaret and Andrew reluctantly vow to stick to the plan despite the precarious consequences.'


After watching the movie,we walked out to the KLCC park.Walking,talking and laughing together is the best way to spend time with him ,and oh..photoshoot session is a must! Haha..He looked adorable in his new cap. it was like there were only the two of us in the park (it would be too much if I say ‘in the world’,hehe)…we had a good time together. Sigh, I miss those moments.. And then, we entered the sky crappers again,dropped by a few shopsand window shopping for about a couple of hours without realizing that time passed very fast.

We went off at about 5pm. As predicted,the traffic congestion was quite bad and we stucked in a jam at Jalan Tun Razak for a few minutes. it was peak hours where people who are working in KL were rushing to go back to their home sweet home. Ordinary scenario in KL. Actually,we enjoy being stuck in traffic jam together as it means we can spend more time together.hahaha!)


The beautiful day came to an end when we reached my home. Before he left, I gave him a shirt which I bought for him in KL last week. Hopefully the shirt fits him well.There’s nothing special about it. It wasn’t our anniversary or his birthday. We don’t have to wait for a special occasion to give something to someone,right? =)

Till then..=D